apprentice

Sojourning with Stillness: Disconnected

Stillness is elusive. asking me to disconnect. to strip down to a deeper essence. literally. physically, metaphorically. spiritually. i have found myself astonished by this asking. though i came on this sojourn without expectations…well, if i’m honest, i suppose i had them, even if they were unnamed.

Sojourning with Stillness: First Noticings

taking off: a long plane flight begins with bustle. announcements. checks and double-checks. first pass through by attendants. second pass. plane ascends above the clouds. engines thrum and soon it is white noise. comforting. time shifts. passengers settle. a hush descends. middle flight. some doze. some talk quietly…a low buzzing matching the engine. stretching. bathroom breaks. it is a stillness. a shared space of between. though we are all coming from and going too, we are suspended. even with the modern ability to connect in the sky, we are still disconnected. on some level we all know that. trust the pilots to pilot. trust our wisdom to let our spirits be still.

Lessons from the Pandemic: Deep Weariness, Changing the Conversation, Asking Beautiful Questions

In my dreams I don’t wear a mask. No one does. It is not a thing. There is no pandemic. My dreams are still full of disjointed images. Metaphorical and archetypal meaning. But NO MASKS. Even if the dream disturbs me, I don’t want to wake up.

And the other day when I arrived at the grocery store, I had a deep longing to enter without my mask. To have no one wearing a mask. To see smiles and frowns—full faces. To hear unmuffled voices. And that all was “normal.” No bottles of sanitizer at the entry point. No gatekeeper. This longing comes close to consuming me some days. From reading Facebook, Instagram and opinion pieces, I am not alone in my longing.

Lessons From My Mentor, Grief: Crossing Thresholds, Honoring the Pause

I rise these days with the sun. The alarm has been set aside. I walk instead of swim. I’ve become reacquainted with my neighborhood. The pulse of spring rife with birdsong flows around me like the water of the pool used to. Daffodils are leaving the main stage and tulips have made their entrance. Two weeks ago, an apple tree with furled cocoon-like leaves and tight, cream colored buds is now a riotous white and green harbinger of late summer delight. Last week I walked to the highest point in our neighborhood to see the pink moon grazing tree tops. No sense of hurry—the moon or I.