View of the Columbia River on the Wahkeena Falls Trail. Fire scorched the trees a few years back. Now wildflowers and new growth are nestled among the stands of charred trees; the landscape cycling from death to rebirth to life. May 2024. photo by anne richardson
Hello Dear Ones,
Spring was on the horizon when I last checked in and now the Summer Solstice is here and the Strawberry Full Moon will rise low in the sky tomorrow evening. The Japanese Cherry blossoms that dazzled in April are a mere memory, as are the pink delights of Dogwoods’ bracts. Rhododendrons and Peonies, always up to the astonishment challenge, too have faded. Fortunately an array of Roses have stepped in, scenting the air with both spicy and sweet aromatics. And my lips are stained red with Farmers’ Market bounty of Strawberries, Cherries, and Raspberries. We have crossed over into a most delicious time of year.
Season of Beauty After the Storm
The serious ice and wind storm of January (see Grief in the Aftermath of the Storm) with prolonged sub-zero temps and fallen trees has been followed by dry weather, though the scattering of typical Pacific NW drizzle and occasional downpours make me forget we are below rainfall averages for our region of the country. Has this led to the abundance from the flowering flora in the region? Plants that paused or were “less showy” last Spring have been boldly front and center this year. I am not the only one who has noticed. Was it due to the “unusual” weather? What transpired between the years? I want to follow through with a metaphor about Nature and Resilience. Or Joy amid Grief. Something in the collective Earth consciousness reaching out to wake us up. Asking for our awareness. I want to weave a storyline that may or may not apply. Perhaps, for once, I can simply let it be. Soak in Beauty.
Daily Wonder & Awe Practice
Two pairs of House Finches visit the birdbaths I have on my new deck. Watching them invites a daily offering of Wonder & Awe, something I try to start every day with, for as poet and essayist, Aimee Nezhukamentathil says, “When wonder is a practice, you feel less alone.” Perhaps those in the grip of the documented epidemic of loneliness in our country would benefit from a daily dose of Wonder & Awe?
Importance of Connection
Wonder & Awe connects us to a Community of Beings (human and other) beyond ourselves. A dear friend and I saw Aimee speak in April as part of Portland Arts & Lecture Series. A delightful evening. You can listen to her uplifting talk on this podcast link. And here is the link to the YouTube video she mentions: Pebble Toad Rollover.
A sampling of the Dogwood residents at my new abode. photo by anne richardson
“Everyday ask yourself: “what are five things on the planet you are curious about?””
The Gentleness of Curiosity
Another take away from the evening: curiosity. Something I wholeheartedly embrace. She asked us to consider this question: Everyday ask yourself: what are five things on the planet you are curious about? Even when I’m feeling boggy and down, if I can slip into a curious state of mind, I can be gentler with myself.
When Grief Overwhelms
Wonder & Awe. Beauty. Curiosity. For me these are ballasts in a world where an “even keel” is never a guarantee. This world can feel overwhelming. Grief, whether you see Grief as a mentor like I do, as an unwelcome reminder of loss and heartache, or a myriad of other ways you welcome or turn away from Grief, it can swamp us at times. Ballasts can keep us afloat in rough waters, even if the waters don’t calm.
To Pause With Intention
That “stand still” moment of Solstice (Summer or Winter depending on your hemisphere) will have occurred by the time you read this. A moment to pause before the days shorten or lengthen. Summer trends toward a frenzy of activity. To pause amid the frenetic energy calls for more intention. Morning moments to invite in Wonder & Awe will continue to be part of my waking practice. What feels like an meaningful morning and/or evening practice for you?
For Your Reflection
where are you noticing Wonder& Awe? Beauty? and if you aren’t, that’s okay. be gentle with yourself. maybe tomorrow. or next week. no hurry. never a hurry. or perhaps you have a different perspective on Wonder/Awe/Beauty and this doesn’t resonate at all. that’s okay.
what are your ballasts (something that offers stability) when the waters of life are rough? overwhelming?
is there something in your life (for example a plant or maybe a part of yourself) that seemed paused or lifeless, and then has reemerged? blossomed even? what has the reemerging meant to you?
if you want, try this: “Everyday ask yourself: what are five things on the planet you are curious about?”
where is Grief in your body, heart, life today? what conversation are you having with Grief?
usual question: are you treating yourself with kindness and gentleness these days? how does that look? if not, how might you make the shift to being kinder and gentler with yourself? how can you be kinder and gentler toward others?
Spiritual Direction/Companionship
Spiritual Companionship is the heart of my practice. I offer the gift of coming alongside and providing deep listening. This allows one to hear their own wisdom. Their own stories. To connect with their Source as they define and have experienced Mystery in their lives. To hold space to reflect on beliefs with curiosity without judgment. To be in the midst of their Grief & Loss and have someone simply be with them, taking time, all the time needed/desired to allow the journey to unfold. To celebrate joys. And more.
I meet with folks from diverse beliefs and spiritual backgrounds and practices. Different ages and genders. All are welcome.
To find out more about my philosophy, background, training and “tools” that we can use in a session, check out my website. I follow the ethics of Spiritual Directors International., where I am a member.
I have space available. I meet with folks in-person or via Zoom. Please reach out if you have questions about how a session might unfold.
I always appreciate referrals!
Books, Articles, and Podcast Recommendations
First, a warning (lol,) I read and listen to some intense books and podcasts. (This on top of webinars for training.) I’m am an admitted Grief Geek. I am also curious about a lot of things. Some of what I delve into is to support my call in working with those who are grieving. To reflect on the midlife and elderhood journey. Healthcare, end-of-life, and death is also of particular interest. And a lot more. I do read and listen to stuff that makes me laugh too. I’m not all about the “intense!” With that said, these selections may appeal to some of you (perhaps if you work in healthcare or know someone who has a chronic illness or has been diagnosed with cancer or dementia.) Others may feel more personal. To keep this from being too long, I will link to the publisher info for the books. These are recent reads/listens and, dang, could have been even longer!
How to Visit the Personal Care Home. by Ann Green in Intima, A Journal of Narrative Medicine. A daughter’s story of taking her mother, who has dementia, out for lunch.
Intervals by Marianne Brooker (note: I ordered the UK edition from Fitcarraldo Editions, 2024. It will be released in the US in September.) This is combination memoir and research on care for those with chronic illness and intractable pain. Written by a daughter as she comes alongside her mother and her choice to do VSED (Voluntarily Stopping Eating & Drinking,) it was a difficult but (for me) necessary read on a difficult topic. I wrote notes and questions in the margins….and yes, cried. I need to reread.
Chronic Pain is Psychedelic. Sophie Strand on Substack. June 12. Sophie writes about Chronic pain so powerfully. This is a short read. If you know anyone who lives with chronic pain, it might offer a doorway into their experience.
The Undying, Pain, vulnerability, mortality, medicine, art, time, dreams, data, exhaustion, cancer, and care. by Anne Boyer. (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2020) Intervals led me to Anne Boyer’s book, which chronicles her breast cancer treatment after she is diagnosed with the highly aggressive triple-negative breast cancer. Her treatise on cancer care is eye opening. And the energy it takes to navigate the health “care” system when one is a single mother living paycheck-to-paycheck is harrowing. Again, a balance of memoir and research.
The Year of Magical Thinking, by Joan Didion (Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, 2005.) I am late to the party on this acclaimed book about Joan Didion’s year of navigating loss after her husband’s death New Year’s Eve 2003. It is sometimes said that the second year after a loved one dies is harder than the first and toward the end of the book, the author noted that all year she has been able to associate a date with “this time last year we…” (she was meticulous in keeping her date book.) As the calendar approached a new year, she realized all those associations would “disappear.” That was an “aha” moment for me.
Choosing Light, Transforming Grief through the Practice of Mindful Photography and Self-Reflection. Dr. Jessica Thomas. (Rowman & Littlefield, 2024.) Ok, confession. I haven’t read this yet, just pre-ordered. I have heard Jessica present on the topic and trust this will be an insightful and beneficial book for both professionals and individuals. Plus I enjoy photography and can see how using my own photos for reflecting on my journey will be an added layer to my own “work.”
Podcast “The Sum of Us.” A friend recommended this 2022 podcast and I’m so glad I took her advice and listened to the whole series. Though the subject matter is not “easy,” it left me feeling uplifted. Here is the summary: “On the heels of her bestselling book, Heather McGhee embarks on a road trip across Covid-era America, unearthing stories of American solidarity and hope in a time of great division and peril for our democracy. Join Heather as she travels from rural Maine to the California coast and everywhere in between, meeting extraordinary Americans who are crossing demographic, cultural, and political lines to build a better future for all of us.”
If you have a book, podcast or article you want to pass along to add to my TBR and TBLT (to be read & to be listened to,) I always appreciate suggestions!
Final Thoughts
I realized I preferred blogging over on my Substack, “following dandelion seeds” publication to this format (in case you wondered where I’ve been hanging out since my last newsletter.) It is easier to navigate! I hope you will subscribe. The blog will still arrive in your email, so you don’t have to download the Substack app unless you want to. And I will still do a quarterly newsletter and make any announcements of upcoming events through this Squarespace email format.
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Do you get that feeling sometimes that life is shifting again? Not sure what is up, but just an awareness. Part of that nudge might have been when, after I was almost settled in my new abode just after the four month mark, I had to move again! That story is in this Substack post: Crows, Rivers & clarity (or not).
That is where I am these days. Paying attention and, even with the boisterous energy of summer arriving, allowing time to “pause.” It may be as simple making sure I am in alignment with my call. Checking in to see what needs to be set aside. And, confession here, when I slow down to listen I can get antsy. Impatient. So sitting with that and allowing it to be.
So, as always, ever so grateful for your patience and being with me on the journey. Please reach out with your reflections and to let me know how you are being.
anne
One of the House Finches that stop by. They quick-sip and flitter away, so not easy to get a photo!
