Caught Up in Enchantment, Busyness, & Pondering

I guess this ”Early Summer” newsletter is substituting for the never-written-but often-contemplated “Spring” newsletter. It was an odd spring, what with a very wet start, a mid-season hot spell that dissipated into an almost autumnal feel. Oh, we had the occasional mid-80’s day and the tulips, lilacs, irises, peonies, dogwoods, and other seasonal regulars bloomed in color-wheel splendor to remind us Pacific Northwesterners that, yes, the calendar was correct. It was April. May. June. Somehow the writing of the Spring newsletter was waylaid by the enchantment of greening landscapes, creating and fine tuning my recent presentation, and pondering (okay obsessing about) my future “home” options…an ongoing journey I will not delve into right now.

My Teachers: The Dark-Eyed Juncos

I am learning from the Dark-eyed juncos who built a nest in a hanging basket on my deck. In two days they crafted a woven cradle of dried grass, thorny bramble bits, and wee twigs for the eventual five beige, palest turquoise, and brown speckled eggs that would be nestled within.

One invitation for me was to balance honoring the parents, nest, eggs, and chicks (once they hatched) with keeping the plants alive (which I assume they had chosen as a secure screen to hide the nest from predators.) Thus was born the watering ritual: 1) Use my smallest watering can so as to not risk slopping water on the nest. 2) Before watering, tap on the basket with a broom handle so the nest-tender would leave (if this step was skipped we would both be startled as nest-tender bolted from the nest and my heart, and I’m pretty sure the bird’s, would be thumpthumpthumping for several minutes.) 3) Apologize to the parent (who was tsk-tsking from the close-in branch of the Douglas fir) for the disruption and quickly water the outer plants, making sure to not touch the nest. 4) Be chided by the parents as I watered the rest of my pots on the deck for “intruding” on their domain.

After the chicks hatched I cut back on watering…just enough to keep the plants alive. From the vantage point of my window, I witnessed the energy it took to be a bird parent. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth all day long feeding five open-mouthed youngsters. Insatiable. This went on for about 10 days until they fledged. And me, always chided every time I went outside to water other pots or sit outside for a meal. Ah, but the joy of watching it all unfold…and a bit of sadness once it was all over. A wee loss perhaps? A bit of grief that the journey had ended? My chiding companions were gone.

Here’s the sweet gem I received in the silence following the busyness: even amid the tumult of summer, there are micro-seasons for rest and restoration. I needed to receive that.

Journey as Spiraling Cycle

A few days ago a couple of juncos (same ones?) appear to have been doing a little mating dance outside my window. Then a junco sitting on the deck rail with dry grass in its beak. A burst of activity in another hanging basket. I spot new nest. An occasional flurry of activity of a junco settling in, seeing if everything “fits.” Juncos can have two broods a season…so waiting to see.

Expanding Definition of Community

The intention of “being with” these wee birds this season has been a gift. They are the first to rise in the morning, their sharp chirps starting an hour before sunrise, well before even the robins chime in. The splash and spin in the birdbath that I know is practical but looks like play creases my face into a smile. Simply sitting and watching as they flit from Douglas fir to deck rail to planter and back to fir is prayer, as poet Mary Oliver might say. They are part of my community and I am part of theirs. I may be two stories above the ground but they ground me even as they fly. Or perhaps they are giving me wings. Both/and.

Grateful for Beginnings/Betweenings/Endings

Anyway, the summer solstice shimmied in with optimal temperatures (well, for me) and I hope you’ll forgive me for be a bit gleeful that we will now glide toward shorter days. If you are a regular reader of my blog, you’ll recall I am a fan of the long nights of autumn and winter. But for those of you who relish these light-filled days and are abiding in the Northern Hemisphere, I hope your embrace of this season fills you. And I remember, two years ago we were under a “heat dome.” Recalling that, I am beyond grateful for the cool, wet ending we had this spring.

Profession Presentations


What kept me hopping in May and June was preparing for: ”Let’s Talk About Grief & Loss: Ambiguous Loss, Disenfranchised Grief and The Importance of Connection,” presented to Parkinson’s Resource of Oregon. Those in attendance were primarily care partners and those living with chronic illness. It was a hybrid presentation (with both in-person and remote attendees.) I believe an important part of any presentation is offering at least one experiential component. For this presentation the one that seemed to resonate with those in attendance was the use of a writing prompt to “talk to” the disease, after using poetry to “prime the pump.” As John Fox says in Poetic Medicine, The Healing Art of Poem Making,

“Poetry is natural medicine; it is like a homeopathic tincture derived from the stuff of life itself—your experience… Poetry helps us to feel our lives rather than be numb. The page, touched with our poem, become a place for painful feelings to be held, explored and transformed. Writing and reading poems is a way of seeing and naming where we have been, where we are and where we are going with our lives.”

My goal, my invitation, when I present to any group is that they have something tangible to take out of the room beyond “head” information. A resource to take back to communities, families, into our own lived experiences. A sense of connection they may not have considered before that is meaningful. I believe we all need to deepen our sense of connection whether we are in the midst of a current loss, reflecting on Grief in general, celebrating joy, wonder and awe…or even in the midst of the “mehs” (yes, sometime life is “meh” and isn’t it okay to be that sometimes?)

I have presented in a variety of settings that have ranged from intimate, small groups to larger conferences. From in-person to Zoom webinars and hybrid formats. The organizations have varied as much as the presentations. From larger healthcare organizations with an “assortment” of healthcare workers & professionals in attendance to smaller, focused groups, such as chaplains. I shape my presentations to meet the needs of those attending, working collaboratively with organizers.

Here is a sample of presentations offered over the years:

• Anticipatory Grieving & Ambiguous Loss in Dementia Care as part of Oregon Care Partners Speaker Series.

• Labyrinths in Healthcare: Response, Respite & Resource. Providence St. Vincent Spiritual Care Team, Portland, Oregon. Education and experiential presentation offered as in-person and remote hybrid.

• Honoring & Befriending Grief as We Age. Retirement Connection, Senior Service Network-Clark County.

• Walking the Labyrinth: A Path for Meditation and Reflection. Fort Vancouver Community Library.

• Sacred Medicine: Poetry as a Pathway to Deeper Healing. All-State Palliative Care Conference.

Go to my website for a comprehensive list of in-services and presentations and please reach out if you are interested connecting.

Spiritual Companionship/Direction

Spiritual Companionship is the heart of my practice. I offer the gift of having someone come alongside and provide deep listening, allowing one to hear their own wisdom. Their own stories. To connect with their Source as they define and have experienced Mystery in their lives. To hold space to reflect on beliefs with curiosity without judgment. To be in the midst of their Grief & Loss and have someone simply be with them, taking time, all the time needed/desired to allow the journey to unfold. To celebrate joys. And more.

Yes, much of my experience and expertise is in honoring Grief, so many of those I come alongside are experiencing specific losses in their lives: a death, a life altering illness, an upheaval that has caused a questioning of beliefs.

But I also have folks that are on their religious and spiritual journeys who enjoy asking “beautiful questions,” as poet David Whyte says, and find having someone who allows the expansion of wondering in a safe container a gift. Not looking for answers as much as playing and exploring with Holy reverence.

To find out more about my philosophy, background, training and “tools” that we can use in a session, check out my website. I follow the ethics of Spiritual Directors International., where I am a member.

I have space available. I meet with folks in-person or via Zoom. Please reach out if you have questions about how a session might unfold. Oh, and I always appreciate referrals!

Labyrinth Facilitation

In August I will be facilitating a labyrinth walk for a local organization. Part of our time will be sharing together as community to reflect on Grief & Loss. That is one use of the labyrinth. The labyrinth can offer space for many experiences to unfold, including: rituals such as weddings, solstices, celebrations of all sorts, blessings; exploration of the spiritual journey; for teams to explore how they work together; stress reduction; or simply to have it available to a community as an open walking experience.

I have a 22’ modified Chartres canvas labyrinth for use for events and am a Certified Labyrinth Facilitator. Check out my website or reach out if you are interested in discussing a possible event.

Resources

In the footer of my website under HELPFUL is a button to click on for Resources. I am in process of adding handouts that are available for download. These are resources I’ve developed for use in workshops and presentations or for use with directees. Currently available are: “Prescription for Honoring my Grief,” “Your Heart Family,” and “Grief—A Tangled Ball of Emotions & Responses.” I will keep adding to this, so check back!

Podcast Recommendation!

I had the honor of being a guest on Grief & Gratitude, a podcast by Coffee and Grief: Grief as Mentor, episode #10. The podcast is the natural evolution of the Facebook group Coffee and Grief Community’s monthly Coffee Talks, which take place on Zoom. On the podcast the guest reads a piece of their work and then the kind and generous hosts, Anne Gudger and Maria Gibson ask questions and they all go on a journey together.

What I have appreciated about the podcast is the range of Grief journeys offered. The grace in the space provided. And that no one is “fixing” anyone. Grief is welcomed in the room. Please, if you are a podcast person, subscribe to this one (and not just because you can listen to me, but I would be appreciative if you did.) I have gained so much wisdom in listening to the other guests and look forward to the release of the next episode each week.

Oh, and the next Coffee Talk is July 6th at 7pm PT in the Zoom Room. Click here to register.

Big News: Anne Gudger’s heart book, The Fifth Chamber, publication date is September 4th. Her writing is stunning and I have already preordered my copy from my local bookstore. If your jam is supporting local authors, small presses and, like me, have found that Grief and Joy can dance together in life, and feel inclinded, please preorder you copy. Anne honors Grief with her whole heart…all five chambers.

Reflection Questions

• Where are you finding rest and restoration in the midst of the abundant energy of summer?

• If you are in the midst of a season of intense (your definition) Grief, how are you caring for yourself? If you know someone in the midst of intense grieving, remember to be kind.

Final thoughts

Okay, so this newsletter is mainly promotional. I admit I am not the best at marketing, but I am passionate about what I do. If you head over to my website, you’ll see I offer a few more services, which I will highlight another time. My invitation to you is to check out my offerings and see if anything resonates…or refer my services to someone who may benefit. Please and thank you.

Speaking of invitations, Grief offered me an interesting “portal” a couple of weeks ago for my next blog, which is brewing in my mind and heart. Here’s hoping the junco’s don’t distract me….too much.

And, ha, between when I started writing this seven days ago (yes, it is a process) and now…there is a second “batch” of four eggs, back in the original nest. Time to implement the “watering ritual,” especially since temps will be rising to 90+ next week!

As always, please take tender care of your heart.

Deeply grateful you are along on the journey,

anne

Bonus!

I posted this poem on my personal Instagram. I like it. Fits my mood, which is feeling somewhere between ungrounded, unsettled, uncertain, and wanting to run away to Ocean for a month with nothing more to do but sit with a journal, take daily walks on the sand with crows and gulls, listen, and ask “beautiful questions.”

unlaced

take off

your boots

bare

your soul

then &

only then

when

distracted by

wind

a small

pebble

blade of

grass &

any or

every being

then &

only then

Earth may

say

“now you are

some

where

else”